I’m Papatūānuku, Terra, Tellus, Earth and Gaia,

and the first thing I’ll say to you, I’m not a liar.

But like a middle-age Dad, I am going bald

as my forests disappear, but I wanna be cool.

So let tell my story, I hope it’s not boring,

I’m 4 billion years old, so please stop snoring.

I’ve been hot and sweaty, icily cold,

smacked by meteorites without being told.

But oh man, I’ve a got a fever like never before

and I don’t want to complain, because I ain’t a diva, nor …

should I become your temporary home,

I’m the only Earth there is, don’t kid yourself, yo!

I have lots of pets, but not as many as before,

I’ve lost my moa, my dodo and my besties – the dinosaurs.

You humans first came along many years ago,

you were harmless at first, but now you’re starting to grow.

You dug for metal, built things I thought were cute

but now they sting like crazy and I think I might puke.

I have been frozen in ice, and burnt to a crisp

but that is nothing compared to this.

You’re cutting down my hair, and I’ve got a pain in my gullet,

stop ripping it out please, cause I really want a mullet.

My seas are rising, soon you’ll be no more,

better take action or I’m a husk on Universe’s floor.

You may think you can ignore me and fly away,

live on one of my brothers, but there is no way!

to take 8 billion people and their pets by rocket

I’m the only one you’ve got and don’t you forget!

So here are some ways you can help me out,

you’ll need to make some drastic moves, or watch out!

You can walk or bike to school,

as well as to the pool – plus, it doesn’t use fuel.

Don’t use the petrol, go electric instead.

It’ll be much cheaper too – get that into your head.

And please look and listen,

use your ears and your vision –

hear me laugh when my birdies sing,

notice my song, especially during spring

and if you feel my feverish heat,

my dust and my sand – hey wait, let me complete –

you’ll know that I’m sick, and you’ll feel the pain,

you can rescue me, then take your rest in Spain.

Come on, help me be cool again,

stop me from being hairless, I know you can

I lose a football field of my hair every second,

that’s quite a lot, don’t you reckon?

Honestly, I really don’t like being bald,

so please plant some trees and then watch me applaud.

Take action for me, take action for the trees,

take action for your home, take action for the bees.

But most of all, hear my song and give me bliss,

Mars thinks it’s pretty cool, but it don’t rap like this.