The Interview

Millie: What do you remember from your days at The School for Young Writers and/ or being published in Write On magazine?

Rachel; I mostly remember how cool it was to have special time just for writing. At the time we lived in Rangiora, where there were NO TRAFFIC LIGHTS, not even a McDonalds, so making the pilgrimage to Town was a big deal!  It felt like I was in this amazing secret society—hanging out with kids from different schools who loved writing just as much as I did ( and never looked at me funny for “using such big words all the time”) and hearing what everyone else was working on and being inspired by their different ideas, alonside tutors who were real-life published writers!  Since I was doing well enough with spelling and grmmar, and handed in my essays on time, it seemed like that was all my school teachers were really worried about. It was so satisfying to be challenged by my tutors to make my writing style and ideas better, rather than flying under the radar.

I loved being at the Arts Centre so much, working in the old buildings, with so much going on nearby at the markets, the museum and the botanical gardens. Even though the rooms themselves were super plain and modernised - cream walls, industrial carpet, wobbly trestle tables - just being in that place had such a creative atmosphere, there were so many opportunities to wander around and find interesting things and people to write about.

Scouring the pages of Write On magazine to find out if a piece of mine had been chosen, then seeing it there on the newsprint, in a real-life magazine was so exciting. This was at a time when there weren't really any other opportunities for kids to get their writing published, that I knew anything about anyway — other than school newsletters, and I think that I would have been too embarrassed to let anyone else know that I liked writing that much. I was already a bit of an outcast, so to advertise myself as even more of a mega-nerd felt like painting a huge target on my back. Anything to avoid being paraded onto the stage in the school hall in front of the seventh formers (year 13s) who were so untouchably cool they didn’t even have to wear the school uniform - yes, I went to school during the 20th century, how could you tell?

Millie: Which early experiences/ opportunities/ classes have influenced your writing the most?

Rachel: I remember being shocked getting feedback from one of my first tutors, Alan Bunn, who showed me how to turn my writing into a poem, and it was like a light had been switched on! I was peeved and defensive that someone was suggesting my writing needed improvement, then amazed that the changes he suggested actually DID make it better. It had never occurred to me that people rewrote their writing for any reason other than to fix spelling mistakes! Being challenged to make my writing make sense, not just to me but to other readers took it from something that was self-indulgent to a real creative outlet that I could feel proud of.

Mostly it was the chance to have the time to dedicate to taking my writing seriously, and learning from experienced tutors how to re-draft. Giving my writing the time and respect it deserved helped me understand that my ideas were worthy of time and respect too.

Millie: How has your writing evolved over the years?

In the beginning, I felt really protective about my writing, I wanted to hide the fact that I was a writer, and thought it would make me a target of bullying - I mean, frankly, I was probably right. I never really fit in anyway, I was a weird kid, and I knew it, so leaned into it, feeling as though I may as well be joyfully, almost aggressively weird so at least it was something I felt in control of and there was a reason I could understand for feeling outcast. My writing was so personal, and it felt too precious to show it to anyone else other than my tutors and writing friends, who weren’t put off by my performative weirdness, they went “Ok, fellow oddball, we see you, we accept you, let’s channel that!”

Eventually, I learned the difference between writing for myself and writing for an audience, so if it feels too raw and personal I can sit on it for a bit longer until I’ve got the distance I need to draft it again.

I feel as though it has become a bit more complex, reflecting more grown-up themes and issues that I've encountered as I've gotten older. I’ve also tried to mix some different styles and techniques into my writing to challenge myself as a writer.

Millie: What is it about poetry that you love?

Rachel: In the beginning, I believed, as a lot of people do, that poetry is old fashioned, has to rhyme and fit a rhythm pattern, has to be hard to understand and full of “clues” or “messages” that only smart people can work out, getting the opportunity to read more poetry week by week and have tutors to show me how to craft my work made me see that a poem can be complex, but it’s not supposed to make your reader feel dumb, the point of it is to communicate, illuminate, validate, inspire! I love using words to distil wispy ideas and feelings into something that’s like a photograph or a mirror, that other people can relate to and see our surroundings and ourselves more clearly. Mostly I just don’t have the patience for writing anything longer!

Millie:: If you had to give your younger self some advice, what would you say?

My younger self probably wouldn't listen to me. I don't have a Ph.D. or even a nose piercing, I don’t live in a floating castle by an ancient forest in Paris, and gave up my commitment to the Goth aesthetic, therefore I couldn’t possibly have anything useful to say! Otherwise, If Young Me surprised me by wanting to hear advice, I would say:

• Learn what imposter syndrome looks like so you can defeat it with your vorpal sword every time it comes lurking!

• It’s actually fine to be proud of doing well at something you’re good at, even if nobody else seems to value it or it makes them laugh at you. It’s also fine to just do stuff you like, even if you’re not the absolute best in the world.

• Try different ways of writing even if you're not immediately good at it, experimenting with different forms and styles will make you a better writer, even if you just find out what you don’t like.

• Also DON'T STOP WRITING! It was hard after ageing out of young writers to keep making the time to devote to creative writing in the same way, but any time invested in something that feeds your soul is more than worth it! Like every other writer, I often get bogged down in getting things just right, but ‘perfect’ is an illusion. It’s also the enemy of ‘good enough’. Who cares if you’re not Tusiata Avia or Tayi Tibble, the difference between them and you is that they keep doing the mahi!

Millie: Thanks so much Rachel. Great advice !